The Life Cafe

The Mental Entrepreneur and Herd Instinct

Oct
13

Some of it is organic, but a lot is just industry propaganda

I was seating with my psychotherapy client the other day. He’s an entrepreneur that recently raised his third round. Came to see me after suffering a series of panic attacks and severe anxiety. It actually happened right after he closed the last round. You’d probably think he’d relax once done.

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How Stoicism Can Hurt You

Oct
04

Give it a bit more time and it might become shameful not to be stoic or even obsessed with stoicism if you are an entrepreneur.

Where does the whole mania around stoicism in entrepreneurship come from? Startup founders, advisors, VCs, angels are embracing it like Japan is embracing vending machines. But, Japan is in so many ways stuck in the 80’s. It makes me wonder where we are getting stuck here.

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Psychotherapy or Mindfulness?

Sep
26

I talked to two interesting people doing a podcast last week. Both were in psychotherapy. None of them seem to need it. They took it on. Now they find it useful and life-enhancing.

I talked to another friend of mine later on. He is into mindfulness and meditation. He’s done it for some time now. Talking to him, hearing him, looking at him – he could well use some therapy. But it’s not cool, apparently. Maybe he is just scared of finding out. Whatever there is to find out.

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You Chose Your Life Today Long Ago

Sep
05

The red light means stopping and hustling has nothing to do with it

I was doing a podcast interview a few days ago with Troy Norcross, an interesting friend of mine. Of course he is interesting. I wouldn’t have interviewed him otherwise. We discussed a lot, but what resonated was how he sees traffic lights.

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Startup Founders, Don’t Sell Yourself Short

Aug
16

How do you get out when you are squeezed into a corner just because you care so much

I don’t know how many times, as a founder, I found myself in a situation where I thought “OK, maybe I need to make an effort to make this work; maybe it’s just me who wants things his own way and I’m just too demanding of everyone.” You can’t always have it your own way, right? If you’re a founder, you have a sense of what I’m talking about.

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Why You Need to Accept Yourself Before You Change

Aug
08

You can only change what you see, what you are aware of, what is in fact there, what you embrace

You walk into the therapy room filled with hope that the hurt is finally going to end. You surrender your soul and all your living secrets to the one and only person then and there; the only person that can help at that time. It’s hard, but at least initially it seems it’s helping.

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Starting the Path of Personal Change

Aug
05

From the day we are born we are taught to be successful, smart and brilliant. To enjoy, be happy and go about our days with ease. We’re taught we need to ‘seize the day’ and then we are told that it’s done by not caring about tomorrow. To be ambitious, hard-working and perfect at what we do.

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Life Outside the Comfort Zone

Aug
03

I am afraid of the fact that I have no clue what my life is going to look like in a year. And I am terrified of what it is going to feel like. Will I make it taking the proper way, the difficult way, the more interesting, creative and fulfilling way? What will it mean if I don’t? For me, for others. Why do I risk it? Should I take the easy way? It seems like everybody does. Why should I be any different? It might be better in the long run. Although deep in me I really know I’d just go numb and die inside.

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Success. Ready to Wear or Made to Measure?

Jul
25

How can a shift in your career destroy it

Often times in discussions with my clients the topic of life purpose comes up. And if someone is just starting on his professional path, we pretty much end up juggling thoughts around their career plans. Not only is this a very narrow view of purpose in life. It is mostly distorted. The scary idea of a slight deviation from the set career path seems to hang over the whole course of your future. And you will strive to keep going. Like you said you would. Like you thought you should. Whereto though?  And how much planning do you need to succeed?

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How Do You Find Your Focus in Life?

Jul
14

Make effort to remind yourself of where you want to go

My dog just won’t take her paw off my face in the morning. Not until I take her out properly. She’s just one of those tomboys that cannot do without running herself out. One of those dogs that will get the whole park to play with her and then want to chase deer on top and have a swim in the lake just to cool down for another round.

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